How do we deal with conflict with our lead pastors?
I love my lead pastor. Wow, he is an incredible leader. But oftentimes we don’t see eye to eye. We don’t agree. And I’ll be honest – I’ve had my fair share of conflict with him over the years. Some of it has been minor and some of it has been painful.
But through it all, I’ve learned some valuable lessons.
5 Lessons Learned Serving Another’s Vision
Here are 5 lessons to help you navigate these relational waters:
1. Realize Why You’re There – The goal of a worship pastor isn’t to develop a whole new vision and pursue new, unrelated goals. Your main goal is to serve the vision of your local church. Period. That doesn’t mean you’re just a ministry robot, programmed to take orders. But I promise you this – the better you serve a leader’s vision, the more you will be trusted to pursue your own ideas and have more freedom to see your visions come to pass in the future. Great leaders aren’t anarchists who want to suppress everyone’s dream for their own. They just know that a vision must be laser focused for a team to accomplish its mission.
2. Initiate Constant Communication – Don’t wait for your leader to communicate with you. Initiate it. Ask him what songs he likes. Ask him about his message. Solicit his feedback on how your team is doing. Do this every week. Schedule it on your calendar. I’ve found that many problems can be avoided as long as there is open and constant communication. Take the lead on fostering those conversations. Trust me on this.
3. Study Your Pastor’s Values – What is your pastor “all about”? What is he preaching on? What is he communication at staff meeting? What is he leading the church to do? Study this stuff and implement it in your worship ministry. This goes a long way in building trust. Plus, it’s awesome to pursue something outside of your own box. Be a part of the church. Be your church’s biggest fan and lead your team to be crazy about it as well.
4. Pray for Your Pastor – When you’re frustrated, pray. When you feel misunderstood, pray. You may never understand the weight of responsibility your pastor carries in caring for a local church. It is one of the hardest jobs on planet earth. Be patient. Lift him up on a daily basis with your prayers.
5. Speak Up with Respect – Guaranteed, there will be decisions your pastor makes that you won’t agree with. You may feel offended. I remember an early conversation where my pastor wanted me to recruit more male vocalists because my singing wasn’t strong enough. Ouch. I was initially super offended. But the more I pursued recruiting and development, the more our team grew and the stronger we became. It was awesome to not be at the center of every song but to now have a team of people growing as worship leaders. When you disagree, the worst thing you can do is keep it quiet and allow bitterness to foster. Speak up when you disagree. Talk it out. Don’t let bitterness take root.
What about you? How is your relationship with your pastor? Are you being intentional about fostering a great relationship?
I’d love to hear from you, as always.
Praying for you today,
This Article was written by David Santistevan